Like stated in Hannah Horvath's doomed e-book draft on HBO's Girls, there really is no grander romance than the one between college girls. My two best friends, whom I have known since grade school, are the complete polar opposites of me as well as each other, which is why our friendship has made it through the trials of time. We disagree on everything–from each other's taste in men, politics, and life decisions–but that doesn't mean we've stopped supporting the other throughout it all. While most people whom are entering their 20s start to drift away from the friendships that shaped their adolescences, we've held tight to each other as lifelines, even with us all living in different cities and states. I wanted to dissect our friendship and more importantly, understand the decisions that we've made in recent years that we've maybe secretly resented. Through a two hour Facebook chat conversation (that brought me back to the days when we would conference call each other for hours on end) we talked about our past, our goals, what it means to be a woman today, and what comes next for us. After this conversation with my best friends, I realized the secret to friendships standing the test of time is simply–faith. The belief that no matter where one goes, what they do, and where they are, they'll be okay.
–so without further ado, I give you Mandy and Kirin.
BIANCA BETANCOURT: Hiiiiiii guyssss
MANDY WORTHY: Hi
BB: Haha, okay while we wait for Kirin I'll explain what the heck I'm doing.
MW: Okie dokie
BB: I was working on an article for CIRCUS but I didn't like the way it turned out so I'm taking a different spin on it. I want to just have a conversation with you guys about our lives–individually, as friends, and as adults–since high school to now. And I want you guys to be totally honest about all of your answers! Don't feel the need to filter your feelings.
MW: Ok! I'm nervous...
BB: Hahaha, don't be! This is a ~safe space~
KIRIN I BET YOU'RE IN THE BATHROOM RIGHT NOW.
MW: Kirin is POOPING!
BB: Even over the internet we're always waiting for Kirin
MW: It's only 1:30 here! She very well could still be sleeping!
BB: She texted me back so I know she's awake!
MW: Kirin saw the message
BB: KIRIN'S TYPING
KIRIN BUSBY: I was sleeping until 1. And I just made pizza rolls. My roommate goes, "pizza rolls for breakfast. No judgement"
BB: Haha, well are you fueled enough with Tostinos to converse?
MW: I'm not judging! I have done it before!
BB: Sweet. WE CAN NOW START.
KB: Mandy we gonna be famous
BB: Okay so first question for both of you
MW: Yaaaay! Famous
BB: Go back to when you were 16/17 whichever you can remember the best. Describe what you wanted most at that age–goal wise!
KB: Like junior year of high school?
MW: 16 was HIGHSCHOOL… I didn't mean to yell at you... My spell check just does that...
I was super involved in in theatre so all I really cared about was getting the best role and establishing a name for myself. That's when I was dating Jacob too sooo.... I was pretty preoccupied with that.
My throat hurts and I'm drinking lemonade. It's not helping...
MW: At 16 I wasn't goal orientated at all! I think at that point I wanted to have as much fun as possible and that's truly all I cared about!
BB: So Kirin: What kind of name did you want to establish for yourself? And Mandy: Were you at all turned off by adulthood?
KB: The best at acting. I also wanted people to be able to rely on me for anything especially [my theater teacher] Rosen. I wanted to impress her so much and show her I could handle a lot.
MW: Yes! I didn't want to grow up but I didn't want to be thought of as young! I was embarrassed I was in high school but I didn't want any responsibilties!
BB: How were you two different between the times you two just described (Junior Year) and come Senior year graduation?
KB: I was SO done with everyone at school. I wanted to pack my bags and move to Flagstaff right away. I was talking less and less to people. I mostly only talked to [my boyfriend] Jacob, a couple drama girls and you.
MW: I think I got more hostile and bitchier each year! Jr. High I was real nice! But after joepaul ate my soul i was a tad meaner! But I learned a lot about how life and the real world works! Like shit happens and what doesn't kill you truly does make you stronger!
KB: We were basically negative nacy's
MW: I agree!
BB: So you both tell me about why you both chose to go where you did! Kirin we talked about all the time when were little about going to a big city together but you ended up going to Flagstaff. Mandy I know a big incentive for you was you had a good paying job that would help lead you into your career!
KB: I only wanted the big city because of acting but since that was out of the question, I thought more realistically. Financially, moving out of state was not an option for me. NAU was far enough but still close. Plus no one was going there, so of course I liked it. I never applied anywhere else and still don't regret that.
MW: You do listen to me! Yeah, if it wasn't for kidzone I would be out of Gilbert!! But I stuck around because I think right now Kidzone is the perfect job I need, for now!
BB: Mandy what about youuuu
KB: I have to poop...
BB: kk hurry back
MW: I just told you! Kidzone is literally the top reason I didn't go away to college! I enjoy working for Tempe! And with kids!
HAHAHA! Have fun!!
BB: haha, I knoooow I sent that right as you typed that response!!
Okay well Mandy I'll ask you while Kirin takes a dump....
MW: Ohh ok!
BB: I know personally for me seeing everyone getting pregnant, engaged, married or moving in together freaks me out. How do you feel about seeing all these people our age zoom to adulthood??
KB: I'm back.
BB: Okay Kirin same question to you
MW: Personally that's not what I want! But for people who are ready and feel like they are ready to do all that! Have at it! I'm ready to get the fuck out of school and start a real life job! Others are ready to have kids and a lover! I guess it just all depends on what stage of life you are in!
MW: But I love gossiping about it!
KB: If you had asked me that before Jacob and I broke up, I would have said that I couldn't wait until it was my turn to get married and have kids. I still really want to have kids and a family and be a mom but it doesn't seem as easily attainable as it did before. People do whatever they want to do. If you're financially ready to do that, then do it. I'm still figuring out how to stay on my budget.
BB: Would you give up Chipotle in order to financially support your future child, Kirin? Hahaha
KB: I think there is a way to support both.
MW: That's what college is for! So you can have enough money for everything your heart wants!️
BB: Hahaha, okay okay, next question you guys get to talk about MEEEE!
Let's play nice.
KB: College and money are suuuuch polar opposites
BB: Okay. So tell me: what did you guys originally think of me moving to Chicago? I know you guys thought I would like, die.
BB: Haha, well ELABORATE
KB: I never doubted your ability to stay there and succeed but I thought it would be suuuuper difficult. Mostly navigating around and getting lost. I bet you still do but you don't tell anyone.
MW: My vote was Chicago because I at least wanted you to die in the U.S. But I thought you were going to get lost and mugged at least once a week! But I knew you weren't going to stay in Arizona!
HAHAHAHHA! I love how we think the same!!
KB: She gets lost in Gilbert with like 7 stop lights.
BB: I can navigate the CTA like nobody's business thank you very much!!
MW: You can't find circle k from her house...
KB: Or Gilbert High School
MW: She has trouble finding the street...
KB: But you can't navigate the 480 soooo
MW: hahaha I'm at coffee rush alone doing homework staring at my phone laughing outloud...
BB: Hahaha. Okay I feel whenever I talk to you guys about my CRAZAY (said like Britney) ideas you guys always look at me weird. IE: feminism, not wanting to get married as much anymore, feeling weird about babehs etc. Tell me about that!!
MW: This is why I have had the same friends since 2nd grade...
KB: I never had friends in 2nd grade except you Mandy...
BB: Kirin I didn't meet you until like 4th...
MW: Hahahahahahahha! I need to leave public....
KB: I know that's why I said Mandy. I said "you" in direction to Mandy. DUH
MW: Bianca! I was at one point like that too! Honestly For me and most people it's a stage of bitterness!
KB: I've never understood feminism. I took a women's gender class last semester and felt like an outcast when we got to the 1950s and talked about how terrible it is for women to treated as housewives. Meanwhile I wouldn't mind raising a family and taking care of the house. I know you are super independent and it makes sense why you are all about women's power and all that. And people change when it comes to not wanting kids and stuff. I don't judge, it's your opinion and I respect it.
BB: How would you guys describe the 21st century woman? Who she is to you?
MW: Like what age?!
KB: American woman?
And now it's Bianca's turn to poop
MW: Bianca do you still not poop?!
BB: Hahaha no I'm half cleaning my apartment!
Yes, the American woman I guess!
Like 18-25 range!
MW: Hahaha! How old is she?!
BB: Like you guys! What do you think society expects of you?
KB: Oh… That changes things
MW: I think at this point most women 18-25 are trying to find themselves, finding out who their true friends are and working/going to school!
KB: Hahahaha Mandy... "what color is her hair?" That's a really hard question. Like I'm serious.
MW: I think society accepts me! Ish... I'm weird but I'm not a criminal or anything! I'm having a hard time understanding the question...
KB: We're riding the struggle bus...
MW: First class on the struggle bus...
BB: Hahaha, like what does today's "ideal woman" do?? Is she married fresh out of college? Or totally independent? Does she want kids/have kids? What kind of school does she go to? Think of anything! Hahaha
BE CREATIVE GUYZ
KB: So can I tell you what I think MY idea of the ideal American woman is?
MW: Today ideal woman is tan, skinny, pretty, long hair and has at least 400 followers on Instagram...
KB: OKAY OKAY
YOUR ideal idea.
I have 419 followers on instagram! whatuppp
I'm halfway there
MW: MY ideal idea is well off money wise, has a goal, and is moving forward to reach that goal! And is happy! I think being a generally happy person is important!
BB: your turn Kirin!!
KB: I think of the All-American woman as being classy. She holds herself to high standards and knows what she wants. She may be going to college but ultimately will marry and have a family. She wears Lilly Pulitzer or something like that. She is literally "All-American".
MW: She drinks beer and listens to country music when she eats hotdogs!
KB: She is well liked by everyone and knows how to have a good time
MW: And her favorite colors are red,white and fucking blue!!
BB: Hahaha, okay now tell me what type of women YOU two want to be!
MW: I want to be happy! I want to be able to support myself! And I wanna have a career that touches lives and helps others!
KB: Exactly that. I want to be the All-American woman. We all know I want to marry rich and it would be nice to do that. I understand that's far-fetched but that's what's in my mind. But I'm also happy being self-sufficient. All the money to my name is MY money. Not my parents or anyone else. I've worked my butt off to save and pay for school and food and my sorority. I'm going to continue working to support myself and my habits. BUT if I happen to meet a well off guy, I won't complain.
MW: Shiiit I wouldn't complain either!!
KB: And obviously be happy. That is like number 1
BB: What brings you guys happiness? Do you guys think you both are fully happy? Or is there a peak you haven't met yet?
Are there any women you directly or indirectly know who have what you "want" and you secretly envy them? (We all get jelly at times...)
MW: I think it's possible to be happy without a guy! I think fulfillment in your life is important and everyone's idea of a fulfilled life is different! Blake lively! She's rich, hot independently successful and then married to a hot successful man️
KB: I'm not FULLY happy but I'm in a better position in my life than I was last year. I love that I work and make my own money and I don't have to rely on my parents for money or things. But once I graduate and start a career then I will reach a higher peak. And yes, I kind of envy my roommate. She wears lilly and vineard vines and has hunter boots and all that. And she has a boyfriend in a fraternity. But I can pull myself out of the moment and think about myself and my life and I know I have some things going for me that are kind of envious to others.
KB: Plus the things she has are just materialistic and can go away quickly.
BB: And how important do you both view female friendship in the influence of a woman's overall happiness?
KB: Female friendship can cause jealousy which leads to being sad. But not having female friendship can make you feel isolated and confused about what a woman should and shouldn't be.
BB: #wise #kirindalilama
MW: Good friends are important! And have a huge part to do with happiness for me! When my best friends are going through a hard time I feel like I get stressed out too! But when they are happy I am happy too!! I depend on my friends a lot!
BB: Awwww Well I think you guys have given me great stuff for this!! Is there anything else you guys would like to add for me to include in the piece? It should be up in the next day or two!
Also, because I have to Miss Ethical Journalist–do you all give me permission to use your quotes??
*have to be
MW: I want a beautiful picture of Kirin and I next to our column! I want it posted on my Facebook wall! And I want the part about you pooping somewhere in the article! 😊
KB: Don't quote me pooping.
I kind of want to get married in the future
MW: Yea! You can use my quotes!
HAHAHAHAHA! I'm laughing in public still...
KB: You can quote me on this, "Fuck the police"
MW: And I want you to talk about how cool we are!!
KB: TALK ABOUT HOW PRETTY I AM
BB: Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
KB: AND HOW ELIGIBLE I AM TO GET MARRIED BOYS
MW: HAHAHHAA! "Fuck the haters"
KB: COME TO ME
KB: I AM WIFE MATERIAL
BB: I think you've confused CIRCUS with OkCupid, Kirin.
MW: "holla at yo girl if you got money in da bank"
KB: SOUTHERN BOYS COME AT ME WITH YOUR OLD MONEY.
BB: I'm so done, hahahaha
MW: HAHAHAHA! I can't stop laughing! People are gonna think I'm on meth!
KB: Meth is cool... IM KIDDING
MW: DONT QUOTE KIRIN ON THAT!!!
–meet Mandy and Kirin.